The Artist Life: NAVIGATING GRIEF AS AN ARTIST ENTREPRENEUR →

This might seem to be an odd post from an artist for some.

Let's be honest ... who really wants to talk about, let alone deal with grief, loss, death? As an eternal optimist by nature, I certainly haven't wanted to go down this road. Regardless, as I deal with the trauma and work through some areas of healing the past several years, it has led me down the grief path. Trauma, loss, and healing are inexplicably intertwined.

One day we’ll do this again … on the shores of bigger waters than the Great Lakes 🤍

And it affects every area of life, including career. As a professional artist - and by default, entrepreneur - we take a road less traveled right out of the gate. Without a doubt, we have to carry the weight of whatever comes our way and find ways to do it while still running a business. Grief is a heavy, complicated emotion that can sometimes feel downright impossible to navigate.

So, as an artist and entrepreneur, dealing with the recent (April 21, 2024) death of my father has been one of the most challenging periods of my life.

I am in community with, and inspired by, so many creative people from around the globe on the daily. I hear how challenging it can be when life's curveballs are thrown their way. Today I felt a prompt to share what it's looking like for me, in hopes that they - or you - won't feel quite so alone when the hard things come.

The earliest known photo of Dad, age 3, Pickford, Michigan, USA

So, here I am (aren't you lucky, lol), sharing the process of navigating grief while continuing to create and run my art business, Debra Hart Studio. Perhaps these jumbled thoughts will turn into something helpful for you or someone you know walking through a major loss. Even if you're not, I happen to believe it is relevant - and very often a wonderful gift - to share our stories in the spirit of shared experiences amd encouragement, so here is mine.

Initial Shock

Just because this life-marking event had been a long time coming, it didn’t really make it much easier than the sudden loss of my only sibling, Larry, in 2020. Yes, Daddy was 85, and yes, he’d had a number of health issues that slowly drained his quality of life over the past decade. From about 2018, each visit to my hometown in Michigan ended in "final good-byes" because we never knew if or when it would be our last.

As hard as it’s been each time, I’m grateful for the dozen or so goodbyes. We had the privilege of saying things to one another that were in our hearts and to feel an element of closure that some don’t get when a loved one dies.

Still, when I first received the phone call on a Sunday from my stepmom June that Daddy was gone, I felt the shock. We were supposed to have started daily video chats the day before, which never happened because he simply slipped into sleep that morning, and never awoke.

Me and Daddy - Aurelius, Michigan, USA, c. 2008. Daddy’s wearing his traditional Michigan winter hat. Every.single.winter.since.about.1940, lol 😂

I’m grateful he was able to leave this life pain-free. Little did I know that Friday’s video chat was to be the first and the last. The last time I laid eyes on my dad or heard his voice telling me he loved me. His final words to me were “God bless you, kiddo,” and he was smiling at me when he said it. A big deal, since he would only talk about the Lord when I brought Him up.

I realized during those first few days after he'd gone that I'd been deeply grieving Daddy for much longer than I'd realized, even though I was fully aware of the 'preparatory grief' I'd been experiencing. It had been just a matter of time, it was big ... and it was finally here.

Without an Outlet

As there was to be no traditional service or memorial according to his wishes, navigating feelings, decisions, and plans have proven tricky. And hard. Being in another state some 900 miles away from my family, there was not a place to go to process my grief or celebrate his life with them outside of a few phone calls. Understandably, my stepmom has wanted and needed space because her son is moving in and there’s a lot to do in preparation. Better for her as she adjusts to her own new way of life to keep things simple and peaceful, and I agree with that.

To be honest, however, initially I felt not only deep sorrow but also experienced feeling cheated, alone, overwhelmed, numb, and confused. Yes, confused. There were other griefs that began to surface, which makes sense once I began to process them, but they were absolutely unexpected, bewildering, and seemed to overshadow the ‘present’ loss.

Even my paints seemed to be shadowed …

And then there was my studio. Creativity. Good gravy, ya’ll.

My studio, my creative space, once a sanctuary, became a hollow, lifeless room each time I peered in … for some reason, it was not an invitation but rather a stark reminder of my loss. The brushes, canvases, and vibrant paints seemed muted in the shadow of my grief. I remember meandering in there daily and wondering what happened. Did all the color go out of my life? Where did the joy go? I would think. I remember looking at the canvases, easels and my art journaling table, unable to summon the resolve to create.

Thankfully, in my lostness, I began to journal to help sort things through. I worshipped when I didn’t feel like it. My faith - or more accurately, Jesus - was the anchor during the early days after Daddy died. He remains very close, providing comfort, strength, and a sense of His Presence - so close that it transcends the pain. And the faithfulness, the kindness and fellowship with my closest confidantes and community has also made a huge difference.

Finding Comfort in Creating

After a few weeks, I began to feel a gentle nudge to return to my work. Art has always been one of the key ways of processing my life, along with writing/journaling, nature walks, traveling and exploring new places, and photography. Plus, I still had to move forward with my commitments as an entrepreneur, and so working and creating became an avenue for dealing with my grief. 

I decided to start small, with simple art journaling pages. It was a struggle to begin, I won’t lie. It was a stop and start venture at best. I got frustrated. I cried. I felt like a failure. I began to wonder if I was even supposed to be an artist or entrepreneur anymore. I couldn’t believe it - I was so … blocked. It took some time, some prayer, some ugly pages (and equally ugly cries), some paint slaps, and some good ol’ fashioned Southern grit somewhere deep in my belly to overcome. And, very messily and clumsily, at last I did.

One day, as I wrestled with the initial “blank page” syndrome that most artists are familiar with, I realized something. As I provide video content for my faith-based art journaling group, SOUL Collective with Debra Hart Studio, it dawned on me that the struggle itself (and how I hoped to move through it) might be helpful to others.

Early morning light flooding my art journaling table and a fresh page

So I began to film what I was doing. That filming became a much larger ‘thing’ that God was doing. It ended up being a 14-video series for my SOUL Collective group - and one that I’ll incorporate into my upcoming online video course, Intuitive Art Journaling.

Although I didn’t really think of it in those terms at the time (I made lots of mistakes, laughed at myself, fussed at myself, and shared how to bring fun into the process), what I was doing while filming was processing my grief through the act of creating. And through sharing my gifts with others.

Realizing this came much later (as in, today as I write this, ha). Only God, only God could do something like that! Each brushstroke, each little decision on the page, each sharing of my heart for creativity was a simple moment of worship, a step towards healing, a way to process my emotions without words. Okay, some words, since I was talking on the videos :)

Mixed Media Art & Music

So I soldier on, creatively. And in this season, I am finding a reprieve and joy in working with softer colors and mediums in my mixed media art.

While I’m still using my go-to mixed media materials and color palettes, I noticed recently that I’ve muted them with more pastels and whites. I think their gentle nature mirrors my need for softness, grace, and fluidity in dealing with my emotions. I’ve also noticed that I avoid harsh mark making, too heavy lines, and bold colors for the time being, opting instead for soothing, blended tones that reflect my inner landscape and feel … well, safer somehow. For now.

Daddy at the Hart Family Reunion in Mason, Michigan, with his Takemine 12-string

There’s also a reprieve in realizing how much of Daddy’s interests have become mine … Of sorts … okay, let’s just say interest ‘adjacent.’ He was a gifted musician on the guitar, mandolin, and banjo with folk, country and bluegrass music - I am a worship vocalist and budding mandolin player. He loved growing vegetables, herbs, and berries - and I have a green thumb with flowers and indoor plants. He was a natural craftsman with wood - I’ve been an artist and writer ever since I could hold a brush and a pen. He was a photographer and photo developer in the U.S. Army National Guard - I have had some form of a camera in my hands since I was about 12. So these things I have found myself leaning into - rediscovering some of my passions that line up so closely with Daddy’s somehow brings him closer and is proving immensely healing.  

Balancing an Art Business and Healing from Loss

Running Debra Hart Studio during this time has been both incredibly challenging - and full of grace and blessing. A hard, sweet, and beautiful dichotomy. There have been hours of time, sometimes days, when it has been nearly impossible to bring myself to engage with clients, work my part-time gig, be on top of admin tasks and marketing efforts, or work on commissions. Yet somehow, as I bravely forged on a bit at a time, the work itself began to emerge as a sanctuary. I say ‘bravely’ not because I’m special, but because it felt really scary and beyond what I was capable of mentally, emotionally or even physically … and I did it anyway.

Maybe it was other than bravery, as I’d been feeling so lost that doing something felt better than nothing. Either way, what’s happening is a surprising and supernatural grace that appeared just when I’ve needed it. I have been able to show up and do all the things, including the peopling and adulting and arting. I'm keenly aware of it still. And keenly aware also of the Lord’s presence, as He generously promises to be “near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18).

More Grace and Boundaries in Grief for the Artist

In 2023 during my last visit to Michigan, Daddy gave me his 1920 Gibson mandolin

Over the past 20 years or so, I’ve been on a hard-earned journey of learning to give myself grace, to accept that it is okay to take a step back and focus on what brings LIFE. It might seem counter-intuitive, especially at first, but it also means leaning into grieving, processing, and ultimately, healing. Partnering with Jesus has been the way through. I’m still on the journey, still learning, and constantly in need of His beautiful grace.

One important step during this season of grief has been setting healthy boundaries. I’ve had days where emotions have been raw, near the surface, and overwhelming. There has been a need for an extra measure of self-care such as sleeping, naps, shorter work sessions when needed, walking, fooling around on the mandolin, phone calls to dearest ones (or needing space from calls), journaling, and of course, weeping. Grief can be incredibly exhausting! 

So, I’ve communicated with friends, family and clients about my situation and asked for patience and understanding. I haven’t gone into the details about what I’ve been experiencing for most; I simply share that Daddy passed away and I need time to process the loss. Although I already knew it, can I just say that I have the BEST people in my life?! All have been incredibly supportive, offering words of comfort and allowing me space to grieve. This support network has been invaluable, reminding me that it’s not only okay - but rather necessary - to lean on others when times are rough.

Transitioning 

Daddy’s girl, 2nd birthday, Aurelius Twp., Mason, Michigan, USA

I’m finding this to be a transition time, learning to live without my Daddy. I can’t go visit and feel his strong arms reassuring me or the grip of his rough, gentle carpenter hands in mine. I cannot call him or ask his advice or hear him play guitar or crack a really dry, really bad dad-joke or harmonize a John Denver song together. I probably won’t recognize his home when I do get to Michigan for a visit, so much will have changed simply because he’s gone. I don’t look forward to any of this and I don’t know when the loss will fade, if ever.

So I’m left transitioning. Finding a new rhythm in my life, studio practices, and business. My art and creativity will likely shift as a result, infused with more wisdom, light and a fresh story. Already, my private worship and writing/journaling times have transitioned. At some point in my studio, I’ll likely incorporate brighter colors and bolder strokes to reflect the journey from the shadows into light. Each piece, each video, every word penned will become a testament to the power and resilience that flows from Jesus within.

And all the while, my art, journals, and canvases are becoming a visual diary of the healing process.

Moving Through Grief as an Artist or Entrepreneur

Processing grief while being an artist and entrepreneur continues to be a deeply informative (and transformative) experience. I am finding my way. Even though I experience the loneliness of being without Daddy, I am not alone. Holy Spirit has been my constant companion, guiding me through the darkest moments and helping me see the light ahead.

As I heal, I’m finding ways to honor Daddy’s memory and his passion for music, nature, gardening, woodworking, and creativity as he understood and embraced it - working with his hands.

As I heal, I’m journeying with a strength-grace and seeking the hidden purpose in it all.

Learning to journey with strength-grace

As I heal, I’m asking the Lord to bless others with whom I’m journeying because of - and despite - this loss. That’s how the Kingdom works - nothing is wasted, and that brings even greater glory to Jesus. A big, big win for those of us who believe.

If you are going through a similar experience, I really do feel you.

Please know that it’s okay to take your time. It’s okay to do what you need to do most in order to begin feeling human and whole and creative and energized again. Listen to that inner voice that’s whispering, calling you to seek out beauty, rest, joy, laughter, tears, or whatever is needed in the moment.

And there’s great, great power in leaning on (or finding) your faith in Jesus, a creative expression, and your community. Healing from grief may be an unwelcome journey, but it is a journey none of us can escape and one you don’t have to walk alone.

🤍 🤍 🤍

Debra Hart is an Atlanta-based fine artist and entrepreneur. Her work is inspired by her relationship with Jesus, the natural world, and personal experiences, creating contemporary abstract and semi-abstract pieces resonating with emotion and beauty. She loves writing, shooting photos, her family, and kittehs.

She also is a creativity guide through the various international artist communities she serves, including online courses and workshops, as well as her Creative Cafe with Debra Hart Studio and SOUL Collective with Debra Hart Studio.  You can learn more about Debra, view her art, and learn about other offerings at www.debrahartstudio.com.

Back in the studio this week …

The Artist Life: AUTUMN TRADITION - HANDCRAFTING ARTIST BLACK WALNUT INK

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!

For the longest time, like most people I've equated the late summer and autumn season with pumpkins, sunflowers, Indian corn, wheat husks, maizes and jack-o-lanterns, chilly nights and bright blue skies hovering in sunny days that turn the leaves golden and crimson.

Black Walnuts, of all things!

Now, though? While fall is still my very favorite time of year and I celebrate it's entrance, I also get cheesed up over ... black walnuts. Of all things, Debra!

Growing up in rural Michigan with five giant black walnut trees framing the drive of the farm across the road, I’d collected many a happy memory, reading and playing under the shade of those massive trees with my younger brother, Larry (I miss you Bubs! We'll do it again one day...). However, in the 30+ years since of living in the deep South, I had never seen one single black walnut tree and thus those memories lay dormant.

So, when I had the privilege of teaching in Western North Carolina (USA) at the John C Campbell Folk School in late autumn a few years ago, you can imagine my suprise to see that black walnut trees are abundant in the Blue Ridge Mountain region.

Of course, I can't do anything quite 'normal,' so my discovery involved a near-fall as I slipped - think banana peel when wet - on a prolific pile of walnuts while plein air painting. My artist buddy from Florida, Robin Popp, with whom I was working, mentioned she collects them to make ink for her beautiful handmade journals, and so I decided to try my hand upon returning to North Georgia.

So I experimented and researched and experimented some more, and then posted the results on Instagram and Facebook. I was impressed by the immediate interest - with five people asking if they could buy them! I decided to produce more, and have been asked lots more questions.

black walnut ink, handcrafted by artist debra hart for artists …

…lovingly made with black walnut hulls, distilled water & clove bud essential oil

Sold Out Inks! But don't despair ...

I've since sold my entire stock of walnut inks! With that kind of interest, I'm working on some short videos to demo how to use the inks as another tool in your (and my) ever-growing art supply stash. PS: You can find the original 13-min. version on Instagram HERE!

So, when I recently traveled to Western NC (again with my friend Robin), we made a quick "side trip" to gather more hulls. As I write this, a fresh batch is curing and will be bottled very soon.

You can find order information at the bottom or hop over to my shop HERE. :)

In the meantime, below you can see the process I used to make these gorgeous inks.

Making Black Walnut Inks

1 - I begin with collecting black walnuts still in the hull. In my region (the Southeastern U.S.), black walnut trees grow prolifically in the Smokies, Appalachians, and Blue Ridge Mountains, and foothills of the Piedmont. Mine are harvested in the Western North Carolina mountains.

3 - After the liquid has reduced to a syrupy consistency, remove from heat. Once it is cool enough to safely handle, the hulls and shells are strained out multiple times using cheesecloth and fine strainers. I typically do this over a stainless steel sink or outdoors in case of spillage.

Squeezing every bit of goodness out of these inks crafted from such rich natural materials, my cheesecloth is left outside to dry in the sun, then gently rinsed of walnut ‘bits’ (particles), and dried again before using in mixed media and art journaling projects.

2 - The walnut “hulls,” which range in colour from green to near-black and still include the hard shelled walnuts, are boiled for a long time in distilled water and white vinegar. The longer the boil, the richer and darker the resulting colour of the ink.

4 - After straining, the ink is carefully poured into quart glass (mason/ball) jars to finish cooling and for easier mixing. It’s much easier to use a large funnel from the pot to the quart-size jars and then use a smaller funnel to transfer later from the larger glass jars to the smaller (1 and 2 oz.) glass bottles. Ask me how I know this! 🤣

It’s also wise to allow about 2-3 inches at the top of each quart jar to make mixing in the essential oils and isopropyl alcohol much easier - just put the lid back on the jar and shake.

5 - Once the cooling and straining is process is complete, a small amount of isopropyl alcohol and clove bud essential oil are added to each batch to preserve the natural properties. This retards molds from developing over time … and smells great! :)

6 - The batches are covered tightly and left overnight to meld.

The inks are then bottled and the labels are lightly hand-painted to show the ink color.

Tip: To keep the label glue from separating (alcohol can break down glue), a very light touch is used so the label typically shows a pale shade; the ink is much darker and can be layered over itself to great effect in order to obtain an even deeper shade.

NOW THE FUN BEGINS!
Here are some mark-making examples from my art journal - just look at the range of shades and versatility of these black walnut inks!

TECHNIQUES:
Use with the dropper (see product in my shop here): try direct-to-paper techniques, draw with the dropper, drip and spill, drop into a palette and use a brush, move around as watercolour or ink

Use with spray top (see product in my shop here): try stenciling, stamping, direct-to-paper, with masks, mark-making tools such as bubble wrap, pine needle bunches, brayer, forks, you name it!

More suggested applications: brush lettering, calligraphy, watercolour painting, stain papers, dye natural materials such as fibers and wood ornaments, furniture, and decor - just to name a few!

More mark-making examples from my art journal: spraying, dry-brushing, doodling with wet brush, dripping, sponging, and spritzing with water.

These black walnut inks work beautifully on just about any porous surface … just seal with your favorite matte medium, collage glue, or varnish before adding more layers of color or stain.

Let your imagination fly!

A little P.S. about the availability of Debra’s Black Walnut Inks:

• Available in larger quantities (pint and quart size); please use the CONTACT form to inquire about pricing and shipping.

• If you are in the Pine Bluff/Pinehurst (or) Willmington areas of North Carolina, you’re in luck! The entire black walnut ink line is available through artist Amy Smith … so be sure to tell Amy I sent you! :)

• I’d love to hear your comments and questions, below, too!

About the Artist:
Debra Hart is a visual fine artist whose semi-abstract, mixed media work celebrates the beauty of nature and faith. With a focus on texture and emotive colors, she captures the delicate beauty of creation in each piece. Debra finds inspiration in the world around her, painting as a reflection of faith and hope. In addition, she serves as a creative guide, leader, and encourager through her Creative Café with Debra Hart Studio and Creative Café presents SOUL Collective groups.

The Artist Life: 2021 DIARY OF A COURAGEOUS CREATOR - Creative Christianity Summit

More from the Diary of a Courageous Creator

So this thing happened.

I went to check on something this week for the Creative Christianity Summit I'm presenting a workshop in, and came across the newly-released schedule, which sent my jaw to dropping.

My workshop was scheduled by the Summit organizers for release on Day 4 (June 18). And there’s my name right below my friend and art mentor, Matt Tommey. ⬇︎⬇︎⬇︎

I nearly fell off my yoga ball, lol!

And frankly, it brought tears to my eyes, remembering. Yup, the Lord sent me a-remembering, shot me right back to where I’ve come from. Remembering what a hot mess I was inside, still recovering from trauma, when I came across Matt and his Created to Thrive artist mentoring program back in 2017.

Remembering the Creative Journey

Remembering how scared I felt when I joined the CTT program - 4 years ago this very weekend, now that I think about it.

Remembering my first Gathering of Artisans, hosted by Matt and his wife Tanya in Asheville later that fall, where I received one of the most powerful prophetic words ever from artist Aeron Brown and connected with artists from the U.S. and around the globe, many who’ve since become besties in my life.

Remembering the first Mastermind Intensive weekend in 2018 where Matt publicly challenged me - and I left thinking he didn’t like me (which we laugh about now 😆).

Remembering the gut-wrenching work through his Experience Course where I received significant healing and vision for my life. Remembering that my first-ever, nerve-wracking, Facebook Live interview took place a year later with Matt to help promote the Course (and I now do them every week in my business through my Creative Café with Debra Hart Studio community without batting a well-macara-ed eyelash...well almost).

Remembering that in 2020, just a week before we locked down, Matt taught at a conference where he invited us stand up and declare our dreams aloud to the 200 others in the room. Holy Spirit told me that if I didn’t, I would regret it for the rest of my life – so I did. And being a part of this Summit is a large fulfillment of that dream, to see my art go international.

And not least of all, remembering that he and Tanya have since taken a chance on me to work with their team and serve other artists and makers in their journeys to get free, get equipped, and get thriving.

It Ain't Just a Thing in This Artists' Life ...

So, I really can’t share this Summit news and schedule with ya’ll - my friends and family - and just gloss over it, as if it’s ‘just a thing’ I’m doing. Perhaps to most it is, but to me, it represents so much more. It’s a visual remembrance of the faithfulness of my Daddy God. Of where I was, where He has me now, where He's taking me.

And it's a visual marker of the faithfulness of one of His amazing servants doing – and modeling it so well to so many – what he’s called to do. I would be remiss to do otherwise, so please allow me this opportunity to honor you, Matt, and say “thank you” to you and Tanya both. You do it with such passion, authenticity, laughter, whole-heartedness, generosity, and good ol' Southern grit. My life has been transformed in ways I could never have imagined in just four short years, and my heart is forever grateful!

'til next time, my courageous ones! xo, debra

Now That the Event is Over ...

Like every well-trained mentee / businessperson … here’s a link to the course from the Summit, now available as a stand-alone course. Please check it out!

The Artist Life: 2020 DIARY OF A COURAGEOUS CREATOR, Part 3

diary of a courageous creator, part three ♡

barn, mcdaniel farm park, duluth, ga usa

this one is just for fun!

after our day 1/thursday workshop ended for paint duluth 5, Robin and i drove around the duluth area and scouted out possibilities for beginning our plein air painting adventure. knowing there would be plenty of artists painting in and around the historic downtown area, and also knowing her affinity for the beautiful outdoors, i wanted her to see mcdaniel farm park.

tenant house, mcdaniel farm park, duluth, ga usa

the park is a relatively unknown and lovingly kept ‘secret’ in the duluth area, run by gwinnett county parks & recreation. it’s like stepping back in time a bit, a former cotton farm relatively unchanged since its drawing in the 1820 land lottery. in the early 1900s, it was a thriving farm which also housed sharecroppers and was an actively worked property in the mcdaniel family through 1999. today the 134-acre park, granted to gwinnett, retains beautiful trails, the original farm house and barn, well house, chicken coop, blacksmith shed and restored tenant farmer house…and another special building, as you’ll shortly see :)

we took a stroll around and i showed robin some of my favorite spots that weren’t too far off the beaten path for things like, you know, ‘facilities.’ not only is robin a prolific oil, plein air, and wood & paper artist, she and her husband also farm their north florida land with livestock: various chickens, sheep, pigs and lovely great pyrenees dogs. so it was no surprise to me that she was really intrigued with all the large displays of farm implements sprinkled around the farm. we scouted some areas of interest and shot some photos, talked about light and shadow for plein air painting, and went home deciding this would be our day 2 sweet spot.

the next morning it was lovely, but a bit bright. i'll admit to loving the golden, rolling field around the tenant house, so we headed there first to see if we could frame good composition elements for painting. we couldn’t quite seem to find the right place to paint. when we saw several other artists already painting the tenant house, we both eyed the outhouse at the same time with a laugh, and decided that was our first subject. it was a bit hidden in a corner behind the tenant house, under several gigantic trees, had a rustic fence, a path, yellowing grasses and leaves near it. perfect set-up compositionally, if not necessarily saleable subject matter.

robin popp, plein air painting

robin teaches plein air painting professionally and her teacher-heart was full-on, helping me along with tips and whatever my challenges were that day. she wanted me to experience success, so we planned to only be there maybe an hour or so, just painting the outhouse as a warmup. the light – which I’ve learned is so important when painting en plein air – kept changing, and we kept on, even though shadows were growing and the sky was darkening rapidly. next thing we knew, it was 1:45pm, i was due to broadcast live on location at 2:00 pm inside my private facebook group for creatives… and, in true plein air form, it began to sprinkle, then shower. eep!

fortunately, we had just enough time to box and toss our paintings under the tenant farm back porch, and most of our gear packed up during the ‘sprinkle’ stage. we sprinted for cover under an enormous oak tree, used an easel as a tripod, took a deep breath, and went live within minutes. just before hitting the button, we both looked at each other as we realized where we were … positioned smack in front of that outhouse! barely containing ourselves with laughter, we took full advantage of it, even doing a ‘big reveal’ of what we painted. the interview with robin turned out to be wonderful, even with rushing about, no real prep time, and rain hair. that fun-filled, friday café live broadcast with a whole lot of silliness, laughter, vulnerability, and (very) little serious chat sprinkled in made for some mighty fine courageous creating. it even inspired a little vignette vid for the facebook group. (watch below ⬇︎)

while robin probably has more at stake than i do as a plein air artist, she decided that exercise wasn’t one of her favorites from the weekend. i, however, ended up being pretty pleased with mine, despite the rain and the less-than-serious subject matter. enough so, that i framed and entered that puppy in the paint duluth 5 gallery show where it’s buried very low, on a poorly lit display. ➔

finished painting ♡

even that makes me laugh when i think about it. i haven’t checked yet, but wouldn’t be at all surprised if someone actually buys it. just because it’s fun. and seriously, who doesn’t need an outhouse painting?

okay, I’ll end this thing (a wee bit) soberly … sometimes, it takes radical courage to be just plain silly – bordering on ridiculous – as a creator in an otherwise traditional, cultured setting. and i love that i’m really, really okay with that because i’ve learned to not take myself too seriously. life is short, and there is lighthearted guffawing to be had!

Just a little ditty created from the October 9, 2020 Friday Café Live broadcast of "Creative Café with Debra Hart Studio,” on location with Robin Popp ...

The Artist Life: 2020 DIARY OF A COURAGEOUS CREATOR, Part 2

here i am in front of my ‘least fav’ painting … and with my ‘most fav’ plein air artist! learn more about robin popp and her glorious work (and i highly encourage treating your eyeballs to a visual feast), click here. photo cred: © robin popp studio

diary of a courageous creator, part two ♡

this is my ‘least fav’ plein air painting from the paint duluth 5 event this past weekend. This one was the bona fide tearmaker. and revealer.

as hard as i might, i just couldn’t make it work.

yes, i was tired.

it was day 3 of en plein air painting.

day 3 of brain-fighting oils (i’m mainly an acrylic and mixed media girl).

day 3 of forgetting all i KNEW about values and transparent paints and all the things.

day 3 of painting realistically instead of in my usual abstractishness.

day 2 of painting in the rain.

day 3 of up-and-atta with too little sleep and too much fun with my friend robin (who is a master plein air painter, might i add) ♡

overwhelmed, too, from doing the quick draw competition earlier, i rather wanted to quit before ever starting this fresh canvas. the quick draw painting (where we have 60 minutes to complete), i half-liked and half-hated. until placing it in the row with the other “pros” for judging, and then just hated, lol.

the ‘quick draw’ entry, 9x12” oil and palette knife on canvas board, painted en plein air at southeastern train museum, as part of duluth 5 © debra hart studio llc

i think it then got worse, unable to find much to inspire me at the train museum. nothing personal to the museum, or trains, which i love, it was just the environment. i SO wanted to have a unique painting, and there were 20-ish other artists all vying for a decent composition while staying under a dry roof. not mad, mind you, we were all in the same boat … just frustrated. the plein air adventure had suddenly become a battle. and yes, my enneagram type 4 was also kicking into high gear, as was my photographer brain, and none of these, as it turned out, helped one whit!

finally, i landed on an angle: a simple rusted train and some goldenrod in front, from ground level perspective (great photo, trickier to paint). since i’d experienced some success with flowers the day before, i thought i couldn’t lose on that choice. i sat down on the ground to compose the canvas, mainly consisting of the goldenrod and other weeds, with the rusty train as backdrop.

ohmgoodness. that train seemed to take on a life of its own, with all the rust, and dark purply streaks, and wet metal one moment, dry the next. that train simply took over! i wrestled with my paintbrush, wrestled with the uncomfortable seating situation, wrestled with the distraction of people nearby. i know, i know, it’s supposed to be part of the experience, but my introverted self was d.o.n.e. no, actually D.O.N.E.! and i wrestled internally for a good 2 hours trying to get that thing “right” before stopping, taking a walk, and ending up slumped over on a picnic table.

i felt defeated, deflated, and like a complete fraud as an artist. i didn’t want to cry, was determined not to let this experience get to me, but those little wet buggers eked themselves out anyway.

ugh.

“goldenrod” 11x14” oil on canvas, painted en plein air at southeastern train museum, duluth, ga as part of paint duluth 5 © debra hart studio llc

in the end, i’ll admit that closing my eyes and letting those tears roll where they might, was a mighty good thing. it was like a pressure valve sprung so clarity could arrive. i just kept my head tilted toward the sky, eyes closed, and remained a good long while in the moment. it was simultaneously terrifying and calming. i realized i needed to sit in the feelings until they passed, acknowledge their presence instead of fighting them.

like author elizabeth gilbert talks about in her book “big magic” … fear, like these feelings, is part of the creative experience. sometimes the dark things come to stay, at least for a while. it’s a matter of putting them in the back seat rather than letting them sit, invited, in the passenger (or worse) driver’s seat. in my experience, ignoring them almost never works, as they find a way back, uglier and with more gusto than before.

in that place of granting space and momentary permission to those overwhelming emotions, i also began an internal monologue, asking all the why and what-next questions. then began speaking life over my brain, emotions, creativity, skills, and spirit. quietly.

as i did, the negativity subsided and the inner critic was silenced. i could hear. i could breathe in what was needed for the next steps … which in this case was to return to the canvas, stop comparing, problem-solve, accept the mess, embrace the imperfections, and see it through.

eventually, i asked for some help from the experts surrounding me, and plus figured out on my own that i’d applied too much paint and opaques too early, and had wrong angles, not enough sky and…and…and… :)

“goldenrod” 11x14” oil on canvas, framed. painted en plein air at southeastern train museum, duluth, ga as part of paint duluth 5 © debra hart studio llc

i fixed it as best as i could. while “goldenrod” is one of my least “favorite” paintings (skill-wise) from the weekend, i’ve decided that it’s my favorite in message.

symbolically sitting beneath the rusty train and weedy flowers, is perseverance and courage, peace and not-hating-it, acceptance of the uncomfortable, and authenticity in moments of inadequacy. it’s an underdog and an overcoming piece, a pure win in my book.

i decided to bravely enter it into the gallery show, reminding myself that grit and gutsiness is at the essence of courageous creating.

this 11x14” framed oil painting, entitled “goldenrod,” is currently hanging in the paint duluth gallery show at adrian collaborative on main street in duluth, ga, usa, through october 19, 2020.

use the contact form to purchase this courage-laden piece! :)

The Artist Life: 2020 DIARY OF A COURAGEOUS CREATOR, Part 1

Musings from Paint Duluth 5 (Duluth, GA) ♡

This past weekend i participated in Paint Duluth 5, a 4-day local en plein air event. Just in case, en plein air is French for “in the open air,” and artists know this as an outdoor, open air painting activity. think French countryside, box easels, and berets. sort of. :)

In events like this (often tied to a local festival, but not always), plein air artists travel from all over to gather in an area and paint in public, rain or shine. There are usually competitions such as a ‘quick draws’ with a time limit, artist workshops, awards, and a gallery show and/or reception to celebrate the completed pieces. People eagerly come to participate, and the public to watch the process of art-making in the great outdoors.

Last year I participated in Paint Duluth 4, so this wasn’t my first plein air experience. However, i was so intimidated by the idea of people actually watching me work (and potentially fumbling my way through), that I found the most remote locations I could think of to work! First day, my back deck overlooking the lake and a great blue heron visitation. Second day, an early morning sunrise over nearby Cardinal Lake, which I’d practiced in watercolor for days prior just in case someone happened by. Last up was a whimsical dandelion fluff painting using toilet paper roll brushes and other mixed media techniques from a parking lot at a local park.

Despite my hesitation and hiding, the first two paintings – the heron and the lake sunrise -- sold in the gallery show! You could’ve pushed me over with a feather, but it was enough of a good experience that I decided to sign up again in 2020.

So, this year, Paint Duluth 5.

An artist friend, Robin Popp (www.robinpopp.com), who is also a master plein air painter, came up from North Florida for the event and stayed. We know each other from Gathering of Artisans (www.gatheringofartisans.com) and the artist mentoring program we both belong to (click here for more).

Last summer we did a self-proclaimed Holy Chicken Artist Residency 😂 on Robin's farm with 3 other artists, including one day of plein air painting at a nearby (and incredibly crystal clear azure blue!) Cypress Springs. Last October I was her assistant instructor at the incredible John C. Campbell Folk School (www.folkschool.org) for a week of plein air painting in the western North Carolina mountains.

This time for Paint Duluth, I found myself with a plein air buddy. Someone to have my back. I'd gained a little plein air experience since the previous Paint Duluth event, and felt less overwhelmed. And i say less because the whole practice is rather terrifying, but I do like the idea of painting outdoors. and the idea of moving from being an overwhelmed artist to an overcoming one.

I hit bumps! Oh, boy did I. But because I’m currently developing an online course series called ‘Courageous Creating,’ i found myself in the big fat middle of being tested on what I’m teaching. I found myself being forced to walk it out.

Below is the first of three ‘diary entries’ from my most recent plein air (and real life as a creative soul) adventure. Enjoy!

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It's a courageous thing to do something new. To kick the crutches out from underneath yourself. To risk failure and defeat. To squeeze out tears of frustration and sit uncomfortably in very real moments of inadequacy ...

All while doing it publicly, fighting against the elements and largely unfamiliar medium and techniques, not only in front of complete passerby strangers, but also surrounded by ridiculously more talented artists than you. And vulnerably, willingly sticking your work up on display next to theirs. Yikes.

This is daring greatly, I'm realizing...and this is courageous creating!

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Highlighted in these photos is my fav plein air painting from Paint Duluth. It's currently hanging in the gallery show at Adrian Collaborative, on Main Street in Duluth, GA USA, through October 19, 2020.

It's framed in gold, and I can't help thinking there's something very significant, prophetic about that. More to come, as I dig down deeper.

In the next "diary entry," I'll share my least favorite, so stay tuned 😉 … in the meantime, what seems like courage in YOUR creative expression?

Comment below, I'd love to hear!

The Artist Life: 2020 COURAGE

This post is inspired by a coffee mug.

Well, other things, too, but really … a coffee mug.

It’s not even mine, but belongs a very dear and gracious friend (#mel) who doesn’t mind me using it these days because it’s speaking so loudly to me.

When I need it the most. In the mornings. 😆

Yup. for some reason, like a jolt of caffeine every a.m., I desperately need a fresh jolt of courage. I awaken most mornings, fresh out. Leaving me wondering, ‘Crap, where in the heck did it go? It was just here yesterday.’ Makes me want to look under my pillow, forage under my bed, search the bottom of the covers like so many pairs of socks that get kicked off in the night.

And then unbidden, the questions come flooding in, and the doubts, and the nasty little reminders of failures past … bleh. The unwanted anxieties bubble up, like black, inky hatch-marks trying to overcome yesterday’s beautiful colours in my mind’s eye. Bleh again.

So what’s a girl to do?

Well, I don’t know about any other girl, but I used to have all kinds of unhealthy responses to those little imaginary gremlins in my head who were attempting to steal my strength and joy. Like resigning myself to them (as if they were truth). Like shopping to ‘treat myself’ (when it was really about numbing the overwhelming sense of unworthiness). Like eating dumb – translation: sugary – foods, as if that would make them disappear. Lies! Lies! They appeared alright, right on my hips). Like retreating into Netflix (or) Hulu bingeing, or coping through busyness … uh, well, you may recognize some of these numbing things. You might even know them intimately. Umh, yeah, sisters and brothers. Exactly what i’m talking about.

Thankfully, I do less and less of those things. So, how in the world does a girl do that?

A number of ways, actually, but that’s a blog post for another day (and i will write it, because it’s powerful). Let’s just say it has a lot to do with intentionality, and for purposes of today’s post, WORDS.

Yup - words. Good ol’ fashioned, lil’ simple words.

Like images, I’ve learned firsthand, really firsthand, how words carry power. They carry power to enlighten, to build up or tear down, to paint pictures good or bad, to bring lightness or heaviness.

Interestingly, I’ve also learned that words actually fight. Good words fight for me to overcome the nasties in my head. so I take time every day to fill my brain with good words, first thing, hot and fresh just like that mug of coffee. I journal them some days, I read them some days, I paint them some days, I YouTube them some days. I even speak them aloud. And I’ve learned to pay attention to the words I let in and surround myself with. Like great people in my life, if I let the good words in, they fight for me in good ways.

So, back to the coffee mug … and to courage.

Wandering into the early morning kitchen these days, this coffee mug reminds me of what I want, who I want to be … and am gradually becoming. I am courageous. fearless. fierce. brave.

It’s not a ‘can-do’ thing, at least for me. It’s a lean-in thing, a believing thing, a faith thing, a promise thing. It’s a resting thing as I move into ALL i’m stepping into in this season, because I’m doing very new and scary things.

And that, my friend - that’s a courage thing!

So....what does courage mean to you? I’d love to hear from you, comment below ♡

The Artist Life: 2020 #CORONACREATE

although its mid-may now, i originally wrote & posted this on my facebook & insta pages about a month ago. we're still on self-quarantine in this little corner of atlanta, as covid-19 cases continue to rise and social distancing is the wisest choice (imo). i thought it a good share here, too, because nothing has much changed yet, except for the gentle warmth of the sun creeping in lately to announce summer :)

i pray this finds you and your family well, safe, and thriving despite these crazy, uncertain times … and that these words soothe, encourage, and inspire you.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

it's been crickets for a bit as i've been setting up & settling into my new studio space, writing, and honing some techniques and business skills in this lockdown season ♡

i know people are hurting, scared, p’od, anxious, depressed, disconnected, discouraged, grieving, confused. you're not alone, beloveds, you're not alone. sometimes i'm all that in one afternoon.

and yet, i see victory and promise, i see wins and winners, i see hope and kindness. it helps that as one who loves Jesus, i trust His unbelievable goodness, and as a creative, i'm on constant alert for beauty. i find more intensely that each day is a choosing. i'm more aware, and i watch how i choose lately, and choose to choose ... well, well. :)

i choose to see beyond the darkness and chaos and quarantine. I choose to find the wonder, to shoot pictures, to sing, to watch supermoons at night, and to bellylaugh with besties until we cry. i choose to step into my unfinished studio. i choose to ignore unpacked supplies, to pick up the brushes, play with colors, test out forgotten supplies, slap down paint, and ... i choose. i choose. i choose.

i choose to coronacreate.

c.a.n.n.o.t. h.e.l.p. m.y.s.e.l.f.

hope you enjoy this little vid & pics of a piece I did for @suzygroovy (my beautifulbestie susan varner groover)'s birthday, collaborating with @melfowler79 (mel fowler, my beautiful friend-turned-watercolorist, using some of her lovely florals), and that it inspires you to choose good things for your own self care ♡

hit me up and tell me how YOU are doing. either here in the comments or send me an email ... i want to encourage you! xo, debra

#coronacreate #artheals #arthelps #beencouragedtoday #debrahartstudio #atlantafineartist #acrylicartist #mixedmediaartist #collageartist

The Artist Life: 2020 MOVING

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It's 2020 alright. And it's moving ... literally.

Since mid-January, I've been in the midst of moving both my studio and my home...my business life and personal life. I'm excited because it's a new year, a new studio space, a new zip code, new dreams and opportunities.

Choices: Decluttering, Purging and Letting Go!

I'm also struck by the things highlighted right now all around me as I also downsize ... thoughts and physical actions revolving around the words "clutter" and "purging" and "letting go."

It's been a lot easier ... and a lot harder ... than imagined. Day after day I'm drenched in choice after choice.

For example, I love de-cluttering and purging. This is the easy part. I'm an organizer at heart, and there's something wonderfully rewarding in seeing closets get organized, storage spaces purged, rooms rearranged. There's something uber-cathartic seeing trash bag after trash bag leave the premises. Forever. "Yay, me!" I think. And, well, "How in the world did I end up with all this stuff?" I also think!

Letting go though ... I don't always do so well on the letting go. That's the hard part. This is been one giant exercise in really choosing well. Choices about what I really want to take into this next space, which, I'm discovering, also means an entirely new season.

So Many Choices!

So many choices about photos and drawings and letters, knicknacks and home decor and journals and gifts ...

• What do I keep?
• What to donate?
• Who could use this or that? what has served me well?
• What represents the old season?
• What brings me joy?

Oh, yes, my friend Susan and I had a grand ol' time with that LAST one ... an entire "JOY! v. NO JOY!" session in my kitchen as we packed). Ha! How freeing!

Like Me, Do You Have Ratpacking Tendencies (maybe just a wee bit)?

I think my ratpacking tendencies linger from being the child of a wonderfully adaptive mom who taught us not to throw away anything that "might" be useful. I'm certain she learned that young as well, as a post Depression-era kid. I'm not knocking it, because there have been some wonderful, crazy, creative consequences that will make another blog post one day. It does mean, though, that I've had to figure out how to UNFRIEND MY STUFF!

Time to Unfriend the Stuff!

• Goodbye, meat-packing-trays-that-were-supposed-to-be-paint-palettes, I'm unfriending you!

• Goodbye, you 20 empty 3-ring binders, left over from homeschooling days, I'm unfriending you!

• Goodbye, stash-of-empty-toilet-paper-rolls-with-a-future-as-a-mark-making-tool, I'm unfriending you!

• Goodbye-upcycled-glass-pickle-jars-how-many-students-did-i-think-i-was-going-to-teach-at-once?!, I'm definitely unfriending you!

I'm not making this up, either 🫣 😂

Embracing the Reasons for Releasing "All The Things"

It's been a bit of a journey for me to learn to release things that are no longer useful or meaningful. One way has been to embrace the idea that it might actually be for someone else's benefit when I sell or give something away (or dump it, for crying out loud).

And the other is the realization that in order for the new to arrive, there has to be room for "the new" in my life. "Release to receive" as my mentor Matt Tommey calls it.

So while moving is hardly on "My Top 10 Favorite Things to Do" list, it has been good. I have a whole lot I want to receive, so here I go. Release away, young Jedi!

I would love to know what you're releasing today, to make room for the more that's on it's way :)

Creatively yours,

Debra ♡

The Artist Life: 2020 VISION

I don't often find myself drawn to reposts from other people, but this one is especially for my creative ones, regardless of whether you are a vocational 'maker,' just want to up your artful game or see uncommon breakthrough in your life.

Heading into 2020, i'm lighthearted and so expectant about what the future holds. this doesn't mean it will be easy or all unicorns and rainbows ...just don't tell the littles in my life that! 🦄

It does mean I've entered into - since the end of september, actually - a season of thankfulness for what I've been given to do. I'm evaluating, listening, and releasing things from the last season that either no longer serve me well or hinder the journey. it's been empowering and lightening.

One of my favorite times of the year is the quiet of post-christmas activities, when I have time to pause & think about the past year and dream about the new one. I confess I've not always done this, or done it well, or done it the ways others do. I recent years, however, I've grown at a lightning pace because of the insight it brings. I've found this pull-away time to be of incredible value in moving forward into the things I have in my heart to do.

As you may have noticed elsewhere on this site, I'm in an artist mentoring program with hundreds of other artists from around the world. When this video popped up today on my Facebook notifications, I was delighted at the timing. I grabbed a cup of coffee and set time aside to watch, and ended up making notes to bring along for upcoming christmas travels.

It is so good! I'm looking forward to marinating in the process Matt talks about in this teaching. It is inspiring and thought-provoking, and I have a sneaky hunch you might benefit too. enjoy!

xo, debra ♡

ps: If you're interested in finding out more about the mentoring program, click here.